The Beginning of a New Chapter

   What's a girl to do? I have been a success. A positive fire work of annoyingly cheerful energy lined in not just silver, but glittery silver. I work hard. I play hard. I look at the bright side of life through neon hipster sunglasses and hit the ground running in my favorite chucks. I may get derailed but my spirit is never broken...this was me up until the last couple months. And now...here I sit.  Creating and writing my first blog. Nearly 32 years old, unemployed as of yesterday, drinking a Diet Dr. Pepper, watching reruns of New Girl while I contemplate my next move. 
   The last couple of months have tested me. I got a new job at a crazy awesome company with tons of growth potential.  Everyone I encountered loved me and I loved them and the excitement was electric.  The ticket to play was passing an insane test called the Series 7. I had been warned this test was a beast and that I would work harder than I ever have before.  NO KIDDING! 10 weeks of 16 hour days studying and taking practice test and practice questions. Reading, rereading, crying, cursing, screaming and not sleeping. I never felt like I had it...and my hard work always works in my favor.  What the ef was happening??! 
   I had a gritty childhood with far too much drama. I used to carry 104 extra pounds in fat and insecurity. I had a few heart problems with a couple sides of heart surgery. I cold turkey left behind a gross 2 packs a day smoking habit. I left my family, friends, job and home to move across the country to start a new life with the love of my life.  And this test was the HARDEST THING I HAVE EVER DONE!
    Yesterday I clicked submit around 2pm and 15 seconds later I saw I had failed.  That little monitor and DOS looking program had this insane ability to make me feel so awful that I couldn't move. I have never worked so hard to feel so stupid. By 4:15pm I was fired.
   It's taken many many tears, hyperventilating, freaking out and reminding myself that I am still awesome and have my first international vacation coming this week to come around and out of my boohoo cryin' state of mind. Ok...it also took 5 pints of beer and a horrible nights sleep.
   I have the support of my love, my boyfriend Johnny.  He has encouraged me to relax...prepare and enjoy our trip to Denmark this Friday. He wants me to take my time and find my bliss.  I pinch myself daily because he is like a dream come true.
   So here we are...beginning a new path to self discovery. Writing not just a new chapter but maybe a whole new book.  I like my rainbow sparkle way too peppy way of life and even though I have no idea what might come next...I am going to dance my way through it and throw glitter in the air while I ride the wave of possibility.